You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize