The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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