Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well I just put wine in my tea
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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