ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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