god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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