is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
