He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
