Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize