Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I use my feet as sexual weapons
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
