Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
