I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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