Buhtt sex?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
