shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
