I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
