I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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