but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize