can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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