Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her

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(303): View more from Colorado

Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...

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(708): View more from Illinois

That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.

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(585): View more from New York

And I feel bad.

(716): View more from New York

Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?

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(365): View more from

As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.

(1-365): View more from

I was judging you.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy

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(847): View more from Illinois

well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

thats called having FUN

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