I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the gays at disneyland are vicious
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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