Apparently you make a good broom.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
