So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
