Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
