1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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