She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
