Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
