Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
