It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
