dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
