what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I didn't notice because vodka
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Randomize
