Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
