I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
