Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
