you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
ok first of all what the fuck
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
