Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
