wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
