i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize