Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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