Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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