We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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