evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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