His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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