I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
