We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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