How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
