I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
