That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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