I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
