Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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