Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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