we're blogging at a bar
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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