Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
