Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
