She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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