Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
