Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
