I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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