he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
