I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
