Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize