what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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