I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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