He kissed a someone with a penis
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize